Ophelia Song

***To be sung to the tune of Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel***
***Note: if you are unfamiliar with the original song, do yourself the favor of going to www.seeqpod.com, typing in "Cecilia Simon and Garfunkel," and listening to the first result before reading this post.***

Ophelia, it’s breaking my heart
To have to pretend that I’m crazy
But Ophelia, you’ve got to believe
That I saw my dead father’s ghost

Ophelia, the ghost told Ham the truth
That Claudius killed him for his wife
Oh Ophelia, Hamlet can’t tell you this
‘Cuz he must avenge his dad’s ghost
(His dad’s ghost…)

Well your dad is Polonius
And Ophelia, he is quite a wuss (Quite a Wuss!)
He makes you Claudius’s pawn
And when Hamlet comes back with a clean face, you’re gone.

Ophelia, your boyfriend’s gone mad
He must kill Claude for killing his dad
Oh Ophelia, it’s still not act four,
And Hamlet stares you down as he walks out the door.

Ophelia, when will it all end?
When will he come home to caress you?
Oh Ophelia, it might take the whole play.
Cuz this is one of Shakespeare’s trage-days.

Ophelia, Hamlet’s killed your old dad,
And that must make you really mad
Ophelia, now you sing and you dance
And you want to send Hamlet to France.
(To-oo France)

But Ophelia, to Britain he’s sent.
To keep him away from his own two parents
And Ophelia, I haven’t read Act Five yet
So I don’t know what becomes of young Hamlet

Jubilation! I still have Act Five!
And I still don’t know what happens.
Jubilation! I can’t wait till Act Five!
To see if Ophelia comes out dead or alive.